Dear Dads,

Many of us have wrestled with the sinking feeling that we've missed the boat when it comes to being the positive influence we aspired to be in our teenagers' lives. Perhaps the demands of work and life have kept us busier than we ever intended, and suddenly, we're staring at the later stages of our children's adolescence, wondering, "Is it too late?"

A Story of Realization and Redemption

Tom, a father of two, found himself in this exact situation. His daughter was 17, and his son was 15 when he realized he couldn't remember the last time he had a real, meaningful conversation with either of them. Work had always been demanding, and it seemed it would never let up. The guilt and regret were overwhelming.

After an honest conversation with a dear friend, Tom decided to shift his perspective. He realized that focusing on the present and future could have been more productive than dwelling on missed opportunities from the past. He began by initiating small, daily interactions with his kids, showing genuine interest in their lives without overwhelming them. Slowly, the walls began to crumble, and a new bond formed. Tom learned an invaluable lesson: it's never too late to make a difference.

Living from the Present Future, Not the Present Past

The key realization for any dad in this situation is that we live from the present to the future, not from the present to the past.

What matters now is what you do next, not what you didn't do before. 

This is exactly why Will Kubicek asked to partner with me, his dad, to help all dad’s (and parents) out there redeem the time - to do what he experienced that I did. Here's how you can begin to redeem the time and become intentional in your relationships with your teenagers:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's okay to feel regret, but don't let it paralyze you. Acknowledge it, forgive yourself, and move forward.

• Open Communication: Start conversations with your teenager, even if it initially feels awkward. Show interest in their interests, listen more than you talk, and be present.

• Quality Time: Make an effort to spend quality one-on-one time with them, doing activities they enjoy. This shows you value their company and want to be a part of their world.

• Express Love and Appreciation: Tell your kids you love them and are proud of them. Sometimes, hearing it can make all the difference.

• Be Patient and Persistent: Rebuilding or strengthening a relationship doesn't happen overnight. Stay consistent in your efforts, and be patient with the process.

Feeling like you've failed is natural, but the essence of fatherhood lies in rising above these feelings and taking actionable steps toward being the dad you want to be. The heart of the matter is intentionality—starting now.

For more practical tools, you can check out sixsummers.com, and leverage the 5-Session Parent/Teen content amongst the other tools for breakthrough.

Remember, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is today. It's not too late to significantly impact your teenager's life.

Thanks for reading,

Jeremie Kubicek

Co-founder, Six Summers